Oh hai. It feels like ages. Between a rambunctious crawler, an increasingly achy-breaky internet server, and weeks of minor health drama (thyroid? try thyRUDE), I simply haven’t been able to scrape together the tech or brain power for a decent post.

Despite all that, my delightful and talented friend Caitlyn Byers was kind (misguided?) enough to nominate me for this:

Fact: I’m not really sure what this honor means. Versatile blogger, you say? Hm. The only thing I’m versatile about lately is the number of times I let Chip grind animal cracker mush into my hair before I decide it needs washing, and that doesn’t quite make for stimulating reading material.

Unless of course you think my past writing is versatile, in which case I regret to inform you that you’re only half correct. In this space I’ve blathered about such varied things as aardvark toenails, alien cakes, and eating placentas, yes, but at the end of the day, my blog boils down to nothing more than the minutia of my life and my weird thought process throughout it. Good ol’ low-fat vanilla narcissism. Hardly worthy of recognition.

Wait … is a cash prize involved here? If so I would totally be up for chucking those disclaimers out the metaphorical/virtual window. No? Rats.

I write about rats. I am versatile.

But Sav, you say. You have merely been nominated, not actually awarded. Hush, little one, don’t worry your mind with such matters. Prize or no prize, I’m a winner, and a versatile one to boot. (At least my husband/life coach tells me so.)

That badge makes my blog look spiffy. Do not you agree? I think I shall start introducing my blog as The Capital L: Delivering AWARD-WINNING, versatile nonsense straight to your screen since 2007.

Caitlyn, I humbly and gratefully accept. Grazi. (The Capital L: Delivering AWARD-WINNING, versatile, and multilingual nonsense straight to your screen since 2007.)

Per the rules of winningness, I’m now to share 7 things about myself that you don’t already know. Oh, you poor people. As if any of you truly needed that. But them’s the rules, so:

1. I dressed up as a genie three years in a row for Halloween. Two of those three years I wore a coat because it was freezing. Costumes are less effective when you’re just the fool in translucent pants.
2. Despite my cool designer drugs, I can’t tolerate the smell of food when I’m trying to sleep. Especially meat cooking in the crock pot. I can’t acclimate.
3. If this whole Mormonism thing doesn’t work out, I’m first in line to join the church of the dark lord, Steven Moffat (okay, you already knew that).

4. My favorite candy is English toffee, especially Almond Roca.
5. I find Anne Hathaway, Kirsten Dunst, and Gwyneth Paltrow utterly unwatchable.
6. Shoe size = 8.5.
7. The phrase “tit for tat”, while descriptive of a principle I believe in, always makes me giggle and think of a prostitution ring posing as an underworldly tattoo parlor.

Ah, I feel we know each other better now. Don’t you?

Finally, I’m to pass the love on to 15 other bloggers, and challenge them to do the same link back/share/link forward thang I’ve got going on. Guys, 15 is a ridiculously high number, so I’m knocking it down to 5. Here is a group of stellar women who have all made me laugh or think recently. Plus I know them personally, so it will be less weird if I grant them a pretend award.

Wish I could hook you up with a cosmo or a hot fudge sundae or something fabulously tangible, darlings, but I can’t, so accept my awkward virtual high-five instead. G’head. Drink it in. Drink it in and feel as special as you are.

1. E. at The Rarest Purple Sapphire
2. C. at Small Dog Syndrome
3. Jessica at Pencils and Pearls
4. Brandie at Stark Life
5. Ginger at Lost in Downtown Seattle

In all seriousness, these gals ARE actually interesting, hilarious, thought-provoking, and/or versatile writers. You should read them. You’re welcome.

Have a versatile day!

Currently listening to: Feel So Close by Calvin Harris