The Worst Time of Day

Posted on by
1

In case you were wondering, it’s 1:30.

I detest 1:30. Post meridiem, that is – I have no problem with the one I sleep through.

Quite simply, half-past one is evil. It’s the time when my mind, body, and spirit all simultaneously implode from boredom. At that point, all the morning chores are finished, the baby has napped, we’ve both had lunch and played with every single toy in the house – and nothing else remains to do but sit and twiddle our thumbs. They say you don’t know what you have until it’s gone, and I now realize I was entirely spoiled in Provo. If I wanted human interaction with people I know and like, I needed only to stroll five minutes to the park, or to my sister’s, or to drop in on the lovelies at the BYU PD.

You would laugh at the “errands” I send myself on just to avoid this foul hour and the soul-crushing weight of its nothingness (e.g., driving to Costo just to make sure that yes, in fact, they do still give out free samples there). But, on the days (like today) I don’t make it out the door in time, I usually end up flat on my back on the kitchen floor, staring sightlessly at the ceiling while my brain leaks out my ears. It’s awful.

Other things that contribute to La Blahs:

  • Missing a much-needed update to one of my prescriptions = feeling flat and drowsy as a sloth in a magic poppy field
  • Guilt whenever I spend too much time reading or playing iPhone games while Chip is awake
  • Most fun activities take money and gas

I’m sure things will get better once I actually make friends here. The problem is lack of opportunity. I’ve introduced myself to several people in the neighborhood and ward, but they each seem pretty settled into their own niches. WHEN I catch them, that is. The full-time salarymen are gone all day, and if they leave families at home, I certainly need proof. I’ve seen neither hide nor hair.

Okay, that is enough whining for today. I will spend the remainder of this naptime doing something more constructive. Maybe.

Currently listening to: You Found Me by The Fray

There’s a Snake in my Boot! Erm, Garage

Posted on by
2

Apologies to the unlikely few of you who have attempted to access this blog lately. There’ve been some technical difficulties which have hopefully been resolved.

Today’s post title is inspired by my dear husband, who spied our scaly little friend as he prepared for the morning commute. I thundered down the stairs the moment I heard him yell (CK, not the snake), nearly giving Chip shaken baby syndrome, eager to catch a glimpse. Imagine my disappointment when I found CK already carrying the offending reptile away wearing gloves and a mildly skeeved-out expression. (I was in undies and could not follow – see below.) Still, cool. Home invaders! That’s what we get for living 20 feet from a creek.

I have been on an epic quest for a classic wooden high chair for weeks. It’s proven to be ridiculously difficult. Manufacturers discontinued all the models I like several years ago, and now there’s only flimsy, overpriced, plastic nonsense as far as the eye can see! What’s with that? To borrow the phrase from an older, wiser generation, they just don’t make ‘em like they used to anymore. I’ve scoured the internet, visited eight stores (including a glorious antique shop we spent a good two hours combing), and called six others. It’s the same song everywhere: they come in rarely and they go quickly. Yet I’m determined to make one mine. The quest continues. Do me a solid and cross your fingers for a Craigslist Mother’s Day miracle, will ya?

Speaking of furnishing, OP4 still pretty bare. The combination of buying a house + moving expenses + no paycheck for four weeks has left us more broke than we’ve ever been. The hilarious side effect of all this is our distinct lack of blinds, drapes, or any other window coverings. CK is terrified of the HOA and won’t even hang a sheet. During the day it’s not so bad, but at night we become a giant, glowing fishbowl. Whiiich has lead to some awkward moments. Modesty prevents me from going into too much detail; let’s just say that since getting married I’ve grown accustomed to a certain standard of nakedness, and I may occasionally forget to cover up when, say, walking between rooms. *Sigh*  Let’s hope the neighbors have weak eyesight.

Has anyone else jumped on the Instagram bandwagon? I know it’s been around a while, but I finally gave in. Here’s one from today – I took it after giving Chip his first buzz cut with the clippers. Behold my baldy! The lack of hair really accentuates the size of his jowls, n’est-ce pas?

I’ve other things to yammer on about, but I’ll save that for another post. Have a lovely Friday, a nice restful weekend, a cookie, and anything else you may require.

Currently listening to: Paradise by Coldplay

Relocated

Posted on by
10

Hiya internet pals! I missed you.

We made it! Thanks in part to Milly, Roxy, and the creators of Monster Energy Drink, we’re alive ‘n thrivin’ in our new state/city/home. All went down without a hitch. Well, all save for the free “upgrade” UHaul gave us to a 26ft moving van (about 4x larger than we required – they were out of our size), which necessitated some very creative driving on CK’s part to get up OP3′s parking structure ramp.

See? Comically large.

Life is good. It’s been a fun and surreal week.

At this point, nearly everything has been un-boxed and tucked away on various shelves and cupboards (I have those now … plural. What?!). Our cheap college furniture looks sparse but comforting in this new space. No longer surrounded by noisy thru streets, my boys and I wake up to geese and warblers and fall asleep to crickets and frogs. Direct sunlight hits us long before 9:30am with no massive mountains to the east. It feels wonderfully foreign.

Though it’s taken some adjustment to figure out what “normal” means for us now, we’re making do and loving it. CK adores his new job nearly as much as he loves being away from Utah drivers. Chip and I like rolling around on real carpet and having a whole new city to explore. The three of us took a nice drive through downtown on Sunday and came to like the area even more. I can’t really describe why. The flow and feel of it is just nice. There’s room to breathe, and yet the commerce and infrastructure fits into place and makes sense. So unlike the Salt Lake valley.

Here we have Chip, who is showing support for the tech industry in his own way.

I feel homesick for my friends and my sense of knowing where certain stores are. Most days I’m stuck without a car, so the walking paths through the surrounding neighborhoods and I have really been getting to know each other. It gets a bit lonely at times, but I’m hoping for the chance to make friends soon. (It’s that or I take up a new hobby, like breeding llamas. Although that would probably violate the CC&Rs we signed.) At least I have my mischievous, darling boy — who, by the way, has adjusted to this whole change like a champ, though he spent much of the first day looking solemn and confused, like, “This is my bed, but the windows are all in the wrong place.”

Now that our internet is back up and running, it should be easier for me to get back into the swing of blogging more regularly. We shall see.

Currently listening to: Brand New Day by Neil Patrick Harris 

Grad School Widow

Posted on by
1

The move is going great. Really, it is. However I am feeling a wee bit ranty at present, so here I am, typing.

Guys.

Never again do I want to have a month where I am

Packing an entire household
Running a gazillion errands
Advertising, selling, juggling, phone tagging
(for the fourth time in 2.5 years)

and stressing over

Money
House details
That dratted TPQ
Speaking in church
Utah weather
Family concerns
Leaving friends behind

while

Taking care of a fussy baby
and an extremely flustered and burnt-out husband

Completely. By. Myself.

I am so over it.

(There’s an upside: I’m not pregnant this time. Thank goodnessssssss)

Currently listening to: Drive By by Train

Tongue Twister

Posted on by
2

It’s odd how a person can have so much going on, but have so little to say about it.

Shall I elaborate? It’s simple, really. Please chalk up the recent bloggy silence to my stubborn and lingering case of The Stupids. Oh, The Stupids. How they plagued me during pregnancy, and now they won’t go away! It’s driving me nuts. Did I push Chip out so hard a chunk of brain accidentally popped out? Because, really — I swear I cannot speak or write or do anything resembling adult communication anymore.

(However, I am excellent at baby talk.)

Since becoming a mother, I’ve realized to my chagrin that the words just don’t come as easily as they once did. My lexicon has taken a huge bruising. I fumble and mumble in conversation. Writing a simple email seems daunting. I stare blankly at my “Add New Post” screen until the shame sets in and I click away.

One time I actually kept track of how many times I used the word “like” in a single ten minute phone call. I was too appalled with myself to continue when the number hit thirty.

That’s why I haven’t written much — because I feel I have absolutely nothing interesting or even logical to say. I don’t want to admit how many times I had to edit this draft before it sounded like English.

Has anyone else experienced this problem? This rapid-onset and terrifying atrophy of postpartum intelligence? This is your cue, y’all. Give me your words of comfort, or for heavens’ sakes, wisdom!

I’m resolved to break the silence and tell you more about our goings-on. For now, though, I’m going to fetch Chip from his nap and play me some serious Wheels on the Bus.

Currently listening to: Glad You Came by The Wanted

Derrrp

Posted on by
2

Oh, Chip. You could be a part-time model … but you’d probably still have to keep your normal job.

Currently listening to: Alley Oop by the Hollywood Argyles

:)

Posted on by
Reply

Chip recently became a bear hugger. Words fail to describe the happiness it brings me.

Then today, while playing in the park with Survivor and Bennett (so fun), he reached up for me and very clearly said, “Mama”.

If my heart melts any further, it’s gonna run right into my shoes and give me cankles.

Currently listening to: Those Days by Lucy Schwartz

Car and Driver

Posted on by
Reply

Oh, today. Today was a bit silly.

It started with a last-minute change of plans with the girl I was supposed to be giving a ride to Frizz’s bridal shower. Then I had to interrupt the baby’s nap early. Then my car was out of gas. Then campus parking was a madhouse. Several rounds of text tag later, “K” and I met up, filled the tank, and started off, 20 minutes later than I’d planned.

I looked up the destination address on my iPhone. I should have remembered the AF Canyon debacle of 2010 (I didn’t write about it, but CK and I ended up in some guy’s front yard instead of at the Timpanogos Cave trailhead). Navigation systems just can’t be trusted in this area. Thanks to perpetual Utah construction and my sluggish Google Maps app, my new acquaintance and I soon became woefully lost. We veered off onto a random side street to get our bearings.

We were bumping along a country-ish road when we heard a series of loud CLANGs on the undercarriage, followed by a horrible crunching noise. We parked the car and anxiously scanned the wheels. There we discovered a massive, baseball-sized rock lodged tightly into my left rear wheel between the hubcap and the tire. How did it get there? Heaven only knows.

We struggled to loosen it for a while, trying sticks and our fingers with no success. That sucker wasn’t going to budge. Fortunately, some kindly locals came to our rescue. They lent us their muscles and jimmied the lug nuts until that monster came free. We showered thanks upon them and offered to make them cookies, but all they wanted was babysitting, which we as non-residents couldn’t provide. (Plus — lil’ creepy?) At this point, we were 90 minutes late, and my poor Chip was muy cranky. Fortunately, K was easy-going and had a great attitude.

K and I with the boulder that almost killed Tyra. We're smiling because that's what you do when you cheat death.

A couple more U-ies, and then at last we arrived — ten minutes before the shower was supposed to end. We had a very nice time once there. I feel a bit bad that everyone waited to open presents and whatnot. Thanks again for the invite, Frizz. And, erm, sorry.

The ride home was only slightly less eventful — miserable standstill traffic at three different points, two nasty wrecks, and far more than the usual number of TUDs (typical Utah drivers) who have never heard of cruise control and don’t know how to merge. K pointed out that the Festival of Colors was probably to blame, and I’m inclined to believe her. Holi is fun, but it gets wilder and more packed every year.

We ultimately made it home by following my sneaky backstreet routes. If we hadn’t, we’d probably still be out there in the congestion. Sheeeeeesh.

This was definitely the most challenging trip I’ve ever had in the valley. It required three episodes of Castle and a liter of Dr. Pepper just to recover.

Currently listening to: The Other Side by Sloan

The House Preparation Continues

Posted on by
1

These days are slightly busier than usual. Thank heavens. I spend them budgeting, sorting, de-cluttering, pre-packing, appliance shopping, foisting unwanted items on siblings and/or charitable organizations, inventing creative ways to use up the random ingredients in my cupboard, working box-hauling biceps, and teaching my boys to lift with their knees.

Meanwhile, Professor Chip takes a break from comparing refrigerators to deliver a lecture on the merits of using drool as a medium for creative expression.

Currently listening to: Keep Hope Alive by The Crystal Method